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Witnessing Stupidity Since 1964


I’m just a guy looking for work. That’s what it really boils down to.

At heart, I am an actor. Every job I ever had was just me playing the role that job entailed. In skill, I am a writer and storyteller who rarely cuts to the chase. I feel what leads up to the chase is just as important as the climax itself, much like event planning. In theory, I am a director, deciding who does what and what goes where, producing graphs, charts and timelines that any person of economic thought can see are of the utmost strategy and logic.

It is my realization that so few individuals understand what I am saying when conveying complex constructs that it takes a unique person to employ me because I don’t dumb down anything. You either get me or you don’t. If so, great. If not, okay. I thankfully accept every compliment and take no offense at critique.

My body of work is the aggregate of having over 100 employers in 35 years. My longest stretch of employment was selling yellow page advertising for a full nine years as I watched that poor dinosaur slog through the mud and drop to its knees in the glowing morning light of the smart phone. Yes, there are still phone books out there with smiling attorneys sporting the back covers with their personal vision of celebrity marketing which now serve to prop up computer monitors to acceptable eye levels or are readily transported to the recycle bin the moment they unexpectedly appear on doorsteps, but they get thinner every time you see them and one day this endangered species may actually become extinct. Since being purged of that industry in 2008 I have been on a remarkable journey to find work that would pay me as well as phone books once did.

I am up for nearly anything aside from heavy lifting. My back just can’t handle that. I think the phone books killed it. Another thing I am pretty much done with is sales. I spent years as a sales person. In addition to yellow pages advertising I sold direct mail, internet advertising, coupons, vehicles, original art, waterless cookware, office supplies, home made pastries, event services, hardware and steel. I have never sold any product I would not purchase myself had I also needed it. I never sold crap and I won’t. My services are for hire and I do excellent work.

What I like to do is create. I write all the time. Mostly stuff for myself. I’m still editing and tweaking so a lot of my work isn’t ready for public view. That’s why you see so little of it. Reams of material flood the editing bay. Besides stories and screenplays, I have produced and directed a few short films and scenes written by myself and others.

I love film. Watching it, absorbing it, working in it in any capacity. Actor, writer, director, producer, editor, grip, I don’t care, a well run production is a great place to be. Curiously, I don’t care to discuss film so much. Playing thumbs up, thumbs down and running through the pros and cons of a film where I am just the viewer and can’t do anything about the final production because it is already a completed work does nothing for me. I would rather just exclaim how much I like it or simply say it’s not for me instead of complain and nitpick it to death. It is far too complicated to explain all the things I don’t like about The English Patient or try to convince anyone of the brilliance and importance of Close Encounters Of The Third Kind when confronted with an opposed prejudiced opinion. As the adage teaches: “If you can’t say anything nice, be quiet.” I break my silence now because I do have many good things to say.

Anyone who looked at this website from 2010 – 2013 found a stagnant page devoid of activity. Just a bio with links if you could find them. It remained so as I was occupied with multiple projects. Updating this website fell deep into double digits on my list of priorities. I had a lot of work to do. Now I am pretty well caught up and ready to use this site as it was originally intended, a platform for shameful self promotion.

Starting with this home page, I am updating all of the useful information about me. My resume and work history, links to my books, screenplays and reels, stories about what I have achieved in the past and information on what I aim to accomplish in the future. This page is not a blog. Nor may anyone leave comments. There are many other places for you to advertise your 2 cents to the world if you feel it is at all relevant. Anyone wishing to contact me for any reason may feel free to do so as my contact information is readily available herein.

My resume is a disjointed wreck of unrelated work details that have done nothing to further my career in any way at all. What is a career anyway? A thing we aspire to define ourselves by? You can point at a person and say he or she is an actor, or a valet, or a banker, or a doctor, but they are so much more. When you look at any resume you only get a glimpse of personality and an iota of one’s capabilities. No resume can truly define a person and neither can a career.

Now that you have found yourself here and have read thus far, I trust you are obviously intrigued in some way, are doing research to figure out how to steal from me or you may be considering me for a job. Let me be blunt. I can do the job. If I applied for it, I can do it. Whatever it is, it is not that hard. Try and glorify it any way you like, but your job is something you have just enough expertise to get paid for because you were low bidder and they couldn’t find somebody else to do it for free. If they had the money to hire your nemesis, they did, so get over yourself and get to work.

In the event that you are curious about my writing, acting or directing skills you will find links to all of my work here and may judge for yourself. If you are interested in The Clearwater Film Festival, The Tampa Bay International Film Festival or anything to do with my event planning expertise, you will also find information on these subjects as well. In addition to film, event planning is another passion of mine and I would love to learn more about how I may help you achieve your event vision.

Thank you for stopping to visit my page and learn more about me.

If you were searching for another Michael Rembis you may possibly find him here.

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